Keeping the Shit Going...

Well here I am: Week 3. Last week was all about setting up the foundation to help me reach my goal, and this week it's all about smoothing out the kinks in the schedule.
Here's a recap of the previous week: I drew; I made more space in the garage to work in; organized my stuff so that I know what I have; I drew; threw away junk; drew some more; kept up on the comics news and biz; revised the drawings I did; studied other artists work habits, ethics, methodology, etc...; revised the drawings some more; started to develop a "plan" for my artwork; drew again (mental note: get more blue pencils); excised just a wee bit; I drew again bitch; I thought about my artwork bitch; I discussed my artwork; I discussed art; I strung up a noose in the garage...well you get the picture. So that was last week, this week I have to really pull it tighter to get some pages and pin ups done by Comic Con. I have to have a strong portfolio to even compete, and really put some stuff in there that is good. All that is going to require one thing: "ganas"
And what is "ganas"? That is the Spanish term, or phrase, which basically means having the balls, the will, and/or the desire to get something done. Now I'll be honest, my track record in having "ganas" fluctuates. Sometimes it's on and no one can stop me, I do shit that even amazes me. Other times, I feel like I have the consistency of Vlade Divacs (for those non sports people, Vlade is the center for the Lakers, sometimes he comes out and plays a hell of a game and other times he just comes out). The thing is, I don't have time not to have "ganas". I don't have time for tomorrows, or yesterdays, or mistakes in the past or uncertainties about the damn future. It's all about the now. It's all about losing the fear and showing my big, fat, hairy sack. I have to insure myself that I can do this; that I can make it in, and then stay there. Breaking in is just the beginning, once I get past that point, the hard part will be setting myself aside from the rest to have some longevity in the biz (but that's a story for another blog). In fact, I can't not make it. This is what I've always wanted to do, except that I was an asshole about doing it. I don't have a backup plan that is worth a damn to make me happy (except for finding money someway to independently publish), so this isn't an option.
This week then turns into the make (or break) week. I have to finalize those components to help me build not only a portfolio of my artwork, but a good, solid work ethic as well. Don't get me wrong, I'm not a total lazy bastard, but the hurdle this time isn't a physical one, it's mental. The hurdle is me, it's my fear. That's the only thing keeping me from my goal. But I'm dealing with it, I have no choice. I have to do it, for reasons I can't even define. It's like 5o cent the rapper said in one of his rhymes: "I didn't choose this life, it chose me". So whether I'm tired, sick, angry, happy, castrated, etc...it doesn't matter...I go on with it. See you in the funny pages, or in the funny farm...

Getting it Together...

Well, Im back for week 2 of this "journey". I haven't given up just yet and I haven't contemplated suicide either (well not much anyways). Anyhow, I sat down over the weekend and I wrote a list of things that I (as an creative person/ businessman) need to do to get this show rolling. The list included a variety of things which are listed below:

1. Draw/Write - this is the main thing; whatever you do, if you don't hone your skills, you're screwed
2. Exercise - oddly enough, for me, this seems to work well. Exercising gives me extra stamina to stay up late and get the work done
3. Show the work - I have to get my name out there and get my work recognized; as well, feedback from other artists, editors, and writers is key.
4. Make Contacts - meeting people at forums, online, conventions, wherever is definitely a key element (which I've learned from the success my friends have had)
5. Gain Information and Knowledge - knowing as much as possible about art/writing/the comics business in general is once again...IMPORTANT! I have to know what is going on; make sure I get the news fresh and not hear about it when it's old news.
6. Study - studying art/writing/life/etc...is all part of honing the craft(s)
7. Having Fun - always make time for a little of this; even though I'm having fun doing the above, going to a movie, or a concert, or on a road trip is always essential to clear my head or just relax so that I'm fresh and creative

Well, that's it! Shit, with all of that, it's a wonder that I have time for anything else. But amazingly enough, when I set my mind to it, I have time for all of it and even more. I've been drawing more often (at least one thing a night), and last night I started to make more room for myself in my workshop (in the garage). It's true what they say, you don't know how much trash you've accumulated over the years (and how easy it is to throw all of that shit away when you need to make space) until you really look. I'm setting up a space where I can put up a computer or small desk, my easel, and my guitars. I'll be finishing that crap tonight and getting ready to pull down a couple of scripts to begin doing sample pages for Comic Con. I have a lot of character designs, but what I need right now is the "meat" of the work, more updated pages. I need to produce some incredible shit and really push myself hard. So on I keep going...

Until next week...

The End, and the Beginning...Comics Style

Hello, everyone. My name is Alex Lugo. I am an aspiring comic book artist, writer, and all around creative guy. My dream has been to be in the comics biz since I was about 4 years old. From the moment my mother bought me my first comics, I was hooked. Comics are my life (well a large portion of it anyway). At about the same time, I began drawing and creating stories (really bad ones I might add), determined to create my own comics. At that point I wasn't even thinking of a career (hell I didn't even know what that meant), I just knew I loved what I was doing. Somewhere along the line, however, I jumped off the path. When I was about 17 or 18, it was suggested to me that instead of pursuing art and comics as a career, I should find something that would make money. Something that was more "stable" (this was real crap advice by the way, the job market would change in a few years and stability would be a thing of the past). As things go, I had a fondness for architecture, so my family pushed me in that direction. I had to even convince myself that I could do comics and art as a "hobby". But as I entered college and got 2 years into an architecture program, I discovered that designing buildings and spaces for the rest of my life was not going to work for me. So, at that point I flipped the script and transferred into art. This was the best move I had made up to this point, as far as getting back into doing art (and comics especially). In the art school I met an artist, named Neil. Besides being a party animal, Neil had great vision and shared my passion for art and comics. He had started out just like me in architecture and wound up in art. We became friends and talked a lot about ideas we had for comics. It was about this time that I would meet another person who would influence my art and my perception of art for the next 10 years.
Not many people knew of my passion for art and comics, but one friend connected me someone who was a writer and was also looking for a way into the business. So late in September, Neil and I journeyed to Inglewood to meet up with this writer. We met at his fathers Cajun restaurant (the best Cajun food I've had in LA - but the place has since closed), and sat down to talk. The writer's name was Joseph, and he was there with his fiancee, Jessica. He spoke to us about his dream of getting his work published, and the ideas he had. Joseph asked to see my work and I handed him some drawings I did for printmaking class. These drawings were based on story concerning the fall of the angel Lucifer from Milton's Paradise Lost. I didn't know it then, but he was very impressed with this work, which flowed with energy and emotion. They were drawings that I was very proud of at the time, and it showed. That was the birth of a little comic book studio that consisted of Neil, Jospeh, and myself. Along the way, we picked up another member, Vincent, who became our editor. The four of us became inseperable for about 2 years. We came together to harness our strengths and energy and do some great work, but things didn't quite work out that way.
I can only speak for myself, but during that time, I had a lot of things happening in my life: work, family, friends, and making my comic dreams come true. Unfortunately, I juggled them badly. I gave priority to things that did not deserve them, and stayed at a job that ate up too much of my time. Being a procrastinator didn't help either. After starting off strongly, I was jumping off of my path, and I was too stupid to recognize it. But it didn't take long for the others to notice what was happening with me, and our group. Before long, Neil was gone, deciding to pursue acting and film as his career. That left the three of us, and before long it was just Joseph and myself. It was at this point that things changed again.
Joseph and I were a lot alike, too alike even. It was as if watching Joseph's life was like watching my future. He recognized this before I did (he has great insight by the way), and tried to warn me about the upcoming danger in our creative partnership and in my own personal life. Over and over he warned me, because he went through it all. The setbacks, the personal heartaches, the lost time, he experienced it all, and warned me. But I didn't listen, until it was too late...until it all made sense and even Joseph was gone. About one year ago he told me, when it was just he and I, that we had to change our ways: setbacks, procrastination, etc...these couldn't be obstacles or excuses anymore. We had burned all of our free time and had none to waste. Life was closing in on us and we had to do something with it or we would lose are dream of comics (and any other dream we had) forever. Once again, I didn't listen, I let my fear rule me, and kept on as I had for the last 9 years. We began working on a project together, he wrote the story and I did the art (just as always). But it was during this project that he realized that he had to do this on his own (and justifiably so), as I was not cutting it. My own personal life got in the way, and he would not let that stop him. This was business, and he had to make it happen. So he undertook the project on his own, but later hired me to do the pencils for him. It was during this time that I began to "awaken" to the fallacies and insecurities in my life that had set me back and what I needed to do to get back on the right path.
Joseph had always been my "mentor" of sorts, as Vince had been his, he tried to tell me the truth about my life and what it was doing to my art and my dreams. During the pencilling process of "Lazarus", I marveled at how Joseph transformed. He went from someone who got all of his knowledge about the business of comics from Vincent, to keeping pace with the game himself. He did it all: research, writing, making contacts, putting facts and figures together. In essence, he grew up. He honed his craft and became a business man at the same time. When we split our creative partnership in the comic book studio, he had told me this was necessary. He said we needed to grow on our own, to find ourselves and to develop our strengths. Being together we supported each other's bad habits, and we had to break that cycle. I was afraid to venture off on my own, especially since I had been part of a group for the better half of 8 years. Joseph, however, was not. He got things done. He moved forward. It was at this point that I realized that I needed to change too, that I had to change. Joseph was moving at a pace too fast for me to keep up, and I couldn't stand in his way. So I decided to leave the project and forgo the pencilling duties, not only so Joseph could find an artist that was on the same level of quality and detail as himself, but so that I could find myself and get on the path that I had been on years before.
The course of the last year has been a difficult one, but it has also been a time of reconcilliation and rebirth. I believe that fate can play a part in your life (if you are lucky), and I'm being pushed back onto my path. I have left the jobs that took away my time and found one that I really like that affords me the space and timeframe that I need. The drama of the past is almost gone as I no longer can afford to "entertain" it. And the fear that I had is fading away. All that I have left is me.
During my growth as an artist, I don't think anyone pushed me harder than Joseph did, often being obnoxious (but with good reason). He saw that I had potential, even when I didn't. He saw something in my art, even when I lost my energy and enthusiasm for the work, and pushed me to go on. When my style sucked, and I was repetative, he pushed me to try new things. After the last of us (Joseph and I) had split, I thought that I was done in art and comics. I thought that I couldn't make it on my own. But that was fear talking to me. It was the fear and realization that I had no one to fall back on but me. I have lots of support and love from my friends and family, but when it comes down to it, it's all up to me. That is what Joseph tried to tell me, to instill in me. Even Neil, Vincent, and my wife tried to tell me at certain points in my life. But somehow, a few nights ago, it all made sense. I had always been part of team, primarily out of fear because I didn't think I could do it on my own. But looking at Neil, and Vincent, and especially Joseph...I know that I can do this. They are my role models for tenacity and strength, but ultimately it's really up to me. When I started this blog, it was going to be a 6 month log of my journey to becoming an artist, but it never seemed like that was the first thing that I should put up publicly. But this does. So hopefully this will be the first of many things that I put up while on my way. I will still print the 6 month log, but this will be first, this and a thank you to the ones who helped me to get back here, I love you guys.