Dreaming...
You know, having dreams is one the joys of life. First of all, they are free, and anyone can have them. Second, if you are persistent enough and determined enough, you always have the possibility of making them come true. And finally, if your life changes, you can always tailor those dreams to the changes in your life. Unfortunately, the fucked up thing about dreams is that they may not always come true, especially when you take a leap of faith and commit to them. The safer dreams are the ones we have in our sleep, they aren't real...and in the end everything was just a fantasy...or was it?
I have a lot of crazy dreams. Not just the ones where you meet a hot girl and bang her, no my dreams are a little different. I see dead people. Not often, and they never talk to me. But I always seem to dream about the ones whose lives tragically ended. My aunt, my friend, a classmate from school. Just those mostly, and when I saw them, I knew that they were trying to tell me something. I could see the sadness in their eyes and I knew that they needed something from me. But what could I give them, I mean they were dead! All I could do was say a prayer and give them my thoughts. I do miss them though.
Lately, I have been thinking a lot about my dreams, both the waking ones and the ones in my sleep. I think about how I started out, naive and starry eyed, and how things didn't turn out quite like I planned. About how I fucked up and got off the path that I started on, and the big mistakes along the way. I also thought about how I eventually found my way back and started to dream again. I also had a moment where my waking and my sleeping dreams seemed to collide for one brief second, giving me a moment of clarity in relation to not just my artwork, but my entire life. Not just that, but how my freaky as horoscope validated what I dreamt about. So, lets go on a ride...
In the early hours of April 20th I had a dream, as most of us do. In my dream I dreamt that I was a secret agent trying to get myself into, and bust, a biker gang. Well they caught me stowing away in one of their trucks and told me to beat it, but not before sending a couple of thugs to take me out. When I left the gang, I went to my uncle's house (who is dead) which seem to be on a pier and right at the foot of a hill, simultaenously. My aunts and my mom were there, and the thugs weren't far behind. I saw them coming for me, and as it happens in a lot of my dreams I became a superhero to stop them. Yeah, I know, too many comic books. Anyways, I couldn't let them hurt my family...so, who to become? Well, that's an easy one. Superman. He is probably the greatest superhero around, hands down, and I'm a huge fan. So, after a blast of heat vision, bullets bouncing off of my chest, and an incredible show of strength, the villains were done for. I was in the costume, and I wanted to show my uncle who I was, so that he could be proud of me. He looked at me, and I saw the pride in his eyes. At that time, I also heard a dristress call from ships caught in a storm that needed my help. I had to go, so I made my way outside to the pier. That's when I saw the ocean. It was incredible, the waves taller than the house, speeding by at an incredible rate. not a cold blue ocean, but a green and brown grimy water that covered a vast expanse for miles. Within the waves I could see dozens of sea creatures, and not the small ones. Giant whales, squids, and sharks...speeding by, caught in the waves. Behemoths caught up and carried out by an even greater one. And not just them, but also the monsters that dwell near the ocean floor never seeing light. Odd and frightening creatures that were terrifying to behold. Even though I was Superman, even though I could take them all out (the creatures), even though the ocean wouldn't swallow me...I was deathly afraid. I was afraid to take that risk, that 1% that I might not make it. So I turned around and went back to the house. At that point I woke up and the dream ended. But it had made its impact on me. The next morning I found this in my email:
"You could have some powerful dreams, Alex. Your psychic senses will be heightened, and you should pay attention to the images that appear in your dreams. You might want to write down the things that happen to you in your dreamscape. Your dreams could contain some important symbolic messages over the next few days. Record them in a dream journal so that you can learn from them and apply these insights to your daily life."
It was my daily email horoscope. Freaky little thing, this is the third or fourth time that it touched upon something significant in my life. Make what you will from this, I don't believe everything in life is black and white. But even before I got this, I began to wonder what it all meant (the dream). At first, I thought it was something pertaining to my artwork. That I was too afraid to cross that vast threshold that would lead me to my promised destination, that would allow my artistic dreams to come through. But as the weeks passed, it seemed as if it was more than just about my art. It was about my life. It was about how I was too afraid to take that leap, whenever an opportunity presented itself. It was about how I always chose the safer path in life instead of taking the risk. I thought about this when I realized what it really meant. I looked back at the missed opportunities and bad decisions and cringed. But, the past is the past. I can't change that. But I can do something about the future. My life is going to change before the end of this year (for the better), because I am going to jump into the ocean. No matter how scared I am, I am even more scared of continuing on the same way.
Wish me well...
I have a lot of crazy dreams. Not just the ones where you meet a hot girl and bang her, no my dreams are a little different. I see dead people. Not often, and they never talk to me. But I always seem to dream about the ones whose lives tragically ended. My aunt, my friend, a classmate from school. Just those mostly, and when I saw them, I knew that they were trying to tell me something. I could see the sadness in their eyes and I knew that they needed something from me. But what could I give them, I mean they were dead! All I could do was say a prayer and give them my thoughts. I do miss them though.
Lately, I have been thinking a lot about my dreams, both the waking ones and the ones in my sleep. I think about how I started out, naive and starry eyed, and how things didn't turn out quite like I planned. About how I fucked up and got off the path that I started on, and the big mistakes along the way. I also thought about how I eventually found my way back and started to dream again. I also had a moment where my waking and my sleeping dreams seemed to collide for one brief second, giving me a moment of clarity in relation to not just my artwork, but my entire life. Not just that, but how my freaky as horoscope validated what I dreamt about. So, lets go on a ride...
In the early hours of April 20th I had a dream, as most of us do. In my dream I dreamt that I was a secret agent trying to get myself into, and bust, a biker gang. Well they caught me stowing away in one of their trucks and told me to beat it, but not before sending a couple of thugs to take me out. When I left the gang, I went to my uncle's house (who is dead) which seem to be on a pier and right at the foot of a hill, simultaenously. My aunts and my mom were there, and the thugs weren't far behind. I saw them coming for me, and as it happens in a lot of my dreams I became a superhero to stop them. Yeah, I know, too many comic books. Anyways, I couldn't let them hurt my family...so, who to become? Well, that's an easy one. Superman. He is probably the greatest superhero around, hands down, and I'm a huge fan. So, after a blast of heat vision, bullets bouncing off of my chest, and an incredible show of strength, the villains were done for. I was in the costume, and I wanted to show my uncle who I was, so that he could be proud of me. He looked at me, and I saw the pride in his eyes. At that time, I also heard a dristress call from ships caught in a storm that needed my help. I had to go, so I made my way outside to the pier. That's when I saw the ocean. It was incredible, the waves taller than the house, speeding by at an incredible rate. not a cold blue ocean, but a green and brown grimy water that covered a vast expanse for miles. Within the waves I could see dozens of sea creatures, and not the small ones. Giant whales, squids, and sharks...speeding by, caught in the waves. Behemoths caught up and carried out by an even greater one. And not just them, but also the monsters that dwell near the ocean floor never seeing light. Odd and frightening creatures that were terrifying to behold. Even though I was Superman, even though I could take them all out (the creatures), even though the ocean wouldn't swallow me...I was deathly afraid. I was afraid to take that risk, that 1% that I might not make it. So I turned around and went back to the house. At that point I woke up and the dream ended. But it had made its impact on me. The next morning I found this in my email:
"You could have some powerful dreams, Alex. Your psychic senses will be heightened, and you should pay attention to the images that appear in your dreams. You might want to write down the things that happen to you in your dreamscape. Your dreams could contain some important symbolic messages over the next few days. Record them in a dream journal so that you can learn from them and apply these insights to your daily life."
It was my daily email horoscope. Freaky little thing, this is the third or fourth time that it touched upon something significant in my life. Make what you will from this, I don't believe everything in life is black and white. But even before I got this, I began to wonder what it all meant (the dream). At first, I thought it was something pertaining to my artwork. That I was too afraid to cross that vast threshold that would lead me to my promised destination, that would allow my artistic dreams to come through. But as the weeks passed, it seemed as if it was more than just about my art. It was about my life. It was about how I was too afraid to take that leap, whenever an opportunity presented itself. It was about how I always chose the safer path in life instead of taking the risk. I thought about this when I realized what it really meant. I looked back at the missed opportunities and bad decisions and cringed. But, the past is the past. I can't change that. But I can do something about the future. My life is going to change before the end of this year (for the better), because I am going to jump into the ocean. No matter how scared I am, I am even more scared of continuing on the same way.
Wish me well...
posted by aldoggartist at 11:22 AM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home