WHERE DO WE GO NOW...
I'm back after a short hiatus (not that anyone really cares as there are maybe 2 people who read this), and trying to figure out where to go after my six month artistic journey.
I feel like I really have made some significant steps in my artistic life, but not without being tested nearly every miniscule step of the way. It seemed as if every day was a battle; whether it was my own lack of self confidence, or outside sources edging themselves into the short and precious time that I have. I really grew a lot as an artist, and hopefully as a man as well. But the journey is far from over, and in actuality it's just beginning. When I graduated from college nearly 10 years ago, I saw it as a major accomplishment in my life. I had made it through 5 hard years of study and work, and had reached my goals. I, however, made the unfortunate mistake of thinking the hard part of my life (at that point) was over, that after my years of intense studying, life would get easier. It was the furthest thing from the truth...I realized that as time passed on. Graduating college was only the beginning, and the trials and tribulations of life would test me more than any exam that I had ever taken. The concrete foot of life went so far up my as, I'm surprised that I'm not able to get fisted by a rhino now. There were a lot of tough times, and I can't honestly say that I rose to the occasion. I succumbed the the tsunami that was my life at the time, and only recently have I been able to escape the wave's path.
So, once again, here I am, facing the same type of situation again. At this point I could say a lot of things: how this time it will be different; how I know better this time; etc...But I'm tired of saying those things. I just want to be the man that I know I can be. I see the path ahead of me, and it scares me to death. I'd rather try to do something different if I could. The problem, you see, is the fact that this IS my life. This artistic life has chosen me for whatever reason, and only by living this life do I feel complete at all. If I worked at a bank, or if I worked at an office, I would just be longing to live this type of life and I would die a horrid and wretched loser. I can't bear to imagine that I would die just a man with a lot of great ideas, who never expressed any of them, who let the world pass him by without so much as a peep. I'm not that man, nor will I ever be that man. I just pray to God that I have the strength to stay on this path and see this dream through...
Well, enough of the screaming in my head...
Back to the real world for more punishment.
I feel like I really have made some significant steps in my artistic life, but not without being tested nearly every miniscule step of the way. It seemed as if every day was a battle; whether it was my own lack of self confidence, or outside sources edging themselves into the short and precious time that I have. I really grew a lot as an artist, and hopefully as a man as well. But the journey is far from over, and in actuality it's just beginning. When I graduated from college nearly 10 years ago, I saw it as a major accomplishment in my life. I had made it through 5 hard years of study and work, and had reached my goals. I, however, made the unfortunate mistake of thinking the hard part of my life (at that point) was over, that after my years of intense studying, life would get easier. It was the furthest thing from the truth...I realized that as time passed on. Graduating college was only the beginning, and the trials and tribulations of life would test me more than any exam that I had ever taken. The concrete foot of life went so far up my as, I'm surprised that I'm not able to get fisted by a rhino now. There were a lot of tough times, and I can't honestly say that I rose to the occasion. I succumbed the the tsunami that was my life at the time, and only recently have I been able to escape the wave's path.
So, once again, here I am, facing the same type of situation again. At this point I could say a lot of things: how this time it will be different; how I know better this time; etc...But I'm tired of saying those things. I just want to be the man that I know I can be. I see the path ahead of me, and it scares me to death. I'd rather try to do something different if I could. The problem, you see, is the fact that this IS my life. This artistic life has chosen me for whatever reason, and only by living this life do I feel complete at all. If I worked at a bank, or if I worked at an office, I would just be longing to live this type of life and I would die a horrid and wretched loser. I can't bear to imagine that I would die just a man with a lot of great ideas, who never expressed any of them, who let the world pass him by without so much as a peep. I'm not that man, nor will I ever be that man. I just pray to God that I have the strength to stay on this path and see this dream through...
Well, enough of the screaming in my head...
Back to the real world for more punishment.
posted by aldoggartist at 10:13 AM
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